She hugged me goodbye…the silver hoop took a nosedive.

And, it was the highlight of my new boss’ week for different reasons because he is a dude and witnessed the whole thing as I tried to fish it out.   Right in front of him.   Before I turned away in an attempt to kind of be modest.

Jesus.

I don’t even know how to write out the bizarreness and make it more entertaining than that.

I will write about this…I am losing an amazing mentor this past week.  A woman in corporate America who is not only NOT intimidated by an intelligent woman coming into her space, but who recognizes potential and takes the time to teach and challenge a woman who can give her a run for her money and leave her coming back thirsting for more.  And, she doesn’t stop daring you to learn more, be better, fly higher.

This type of woman, unfortunately, is few and far between.  And she is beautiful.  She will be missed.

Her theme song dedicated by me is this Cake “Short Skirt, Long Jacket”

We are not amused.

An inflatable natural enemy scarecrow snake.  It’s a new breed.  One that doesn’t bite.

So, I brought it home and showed Ted and then a bunch of inappropriate snake innuendo jokes about snakes, trousers and rabbit holes ensued.  Because we are still 12.  But, we really didn’t give the idea that an inflatable snake would really keep Thumper and his brood out of our garden a lot of credence.  I mean if a Dragon and the 20  cats that roam the neighborhood can’t manage it, what was a fake snake going to do?

If you are my Facebook friend, then you know that last weekend we installed tomatoes, peppers and beans here at GrowDammit Central.  And true to form, the herd of cottontails that have their warren in the neighbor’s yard, started to take notice of the new source of dinner.  So, we thought why not?  Let’s bring out the big guns and see what is what.  The worst thing that could happen would be that Sue would get her money back.

We named him Lucifer. You have to hiss when you pronounce the C.

We’ve moved him around the garden perimeter for the past few days.  It’s kind of off-putting when you see him out of the corner of your eye.  The best is that we haven’t seen hide nor hare.

Get it?

When the spawn asked if it was working, Ted told him that a leaf wouldn’t even fall in the yard.  Sorry Sue.

Feel free to leave any snake innuendo jokes you might have in the comments.

Grown by the Wannabes at Growdammit Central.

For whatever reason, the Dragon lost his interest.  If you are confused read this.

Anyway instead of sitting back tonight in amazement of my awesomeness, Ted decided he was going to one up me on the “Things Around the House” puzzle.  Mind you, he wasn’t even looking at the TV when he attempted to solve it in rapid fire succession.  It’s better if you read these in the classic Wheel of Fortune contestant voice – loud and well pronounced with pregnant pauses to make sure you aren’t misunderstood.

Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle…

Pack of Rubbers

Bra on the Floor

Easy Glide Applicator

Ribbed for Her Pleasure

I’d like to buy an X Pat

Oily Anal Discharge

Massengil for That Not So Fresh Feeling

The spawn immediately elected him king of Wheel of Fortune, despite the fact that he would have been escorted from the premises right after “pack of rubbers.”  Probably.

ETA…the eldest spawn elected him king, the youngest spawn is horrified.