This is Rufus (aka Twinkletoes).
He is a very stubborn, long-haired, dapple dachsund. He loves Ted, b/c Ted feeds him snacks all day. He is also Ted’s constant companion. Ted has insomnia, so his normal waking hour is 3-4am.
We deemed Rufus the Keeper of the Garden today b/c of last night’s adventure with a possum.
Ted’s version of what happened:
Have you ever seen a dachsund pissed? I just did…So I let the dog out and he shoots across the yard like a fuckin’ rocket. (He was pissed off with this possum that was in his yard.) So it’s a standoff… The possum… Rufus… The possum… Rufus. The whole time, the dog is barking like a bastard! (It’s 4 in the morning and the cops will show up quickasthat in this Borough for a barking dog). The possum… Rufus…So the possum plays “Possum” and he flops over whenver it saw me coming. It was pretty funny. So the dog can tell that I’M good and pissed so whenever I got to him…The DOG fuckin’ flops over like HE’S dead. It was pretty funny. I’m standing there with a flopped over possum and a flopped over Dachsund.
Rufus vs. the Possum. LMAO. Let me tell you about Rufus vs. the Honeybaked Ham.
We were at a party at my in-laws when Rufus figured out he could jump up on a chair and help himself to the ham sitting there waiting for hungry guests. Now, this is Rufus. He didn’t just nibble on it, nor did he nip off a piece and run with it. My MIL walked in, and there was Rufus with the ham on the floor. The whole ham. He had sunk his teeth in, pulled it off the table and was trying to drag the whole damn ham across the floor. He didn’t want some of it, he wanted ALL of it. I swear this dog is a riot. Now, whenever Ted bakes a ham, he labels it…
Next up…We finished the fencing, so it’s Trellis Time. And what asshat said I shouldn’t play hookey? LOL. And Rufus vs. the Parmesan Cheese.