I Swear to God Y’all…The Ghost of Steve Jobs is in my MacBook Pro.


I am seriously not trying to disrespect the dead.  The man was a goddamn genius.  He was my generation’s Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Edison.

I did feel bad for making him retire. Okay, so I didn’t make him retire; however, I sure looked like an asshole after I proclaimed that I did when I issued my open letter voicing my dissatisfaction with every Apple product I have ever owned.  Disclaimer – I acknowledged that at least part of my complaints most likely involve User Error.  Or most of them even.

Then a great man with a great mind who gave us the impossible passed away.

I swear to God he took up residence in my laptop.  Again, I mean no disrespect. Here’s the thing.  The day after he died, the Safari browser on my Macbook just  up and disappeared. I whined at Ted, and he reinstalled it.  Things got weird.  Google Chrome disappeared.  Later that day, my laptop started talking to us.  Like it was narrating every move we made, which might be kind of cool in real life but is creepy on the interwebs.  “iTunes open. Table 1. Started.  Adele file accessed.”  It was like I had the Howard Cosell of Apple, or a cheesy color commentator.

And, now the Apple homepage with Steve’s obit picture keeps randomly opening.

Right hand to God, ask the spawn.  Randomly opening.

Dear Steve Jobs,

You win.  Rest in Peace.
Regards,
  iAmClearlyNotWorthy

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