Farmer Ted had to take a mandatory time out from work yesterday because he’s been working such long hours that the owner of his restaurant was afraid it was going to kill him. That, or he realized what he owed in overtime and got nervous.
Anyway, Ted and I had an unexpected day together. He woke up talking about yard work. Yard work? Seriously? My idea won. Day trip. Today, we chose New Hope, PA. I had always heard positive things about New Hope, but not once in my 18 years here have I been. So, we got in the truck and set Sybil on no toll/no highway mode and off we went. Sybil must have been really angry with us over the last time we ignored her because it took us 2 hours to get to a destination that Mapquest claimed off the beaten path should’ve taken us 50 minutes. Why didn’t we use our iPhone GPS app? Because Sybil has gone all Hal on our electronics, which you’d understand if you read the link above.
Now, is where you are expecting the goods from our adventure. Unfortunately, we completely forgot the cameras. So, here’s what I’ve got from my phone…
|Our friend Chad clued us into eyebrow threading, so WTF is Dimple Threading?|
New Hope, PA, which runs along the banks of the Delaware River is part of the Pennsylvania Canal System.
|Down by the River there is exactly one Duck Feed Vending Machine. These motherfuckers are not stupid. It’s like the dive bar for every mallard in Pennsylvania.|
|In the Galleria amidst all of the Indian stuff.|
|Ted found his replacement mink.|
|In the funeral/mortuary vintage shop.|
Ted’s iPieceofShit is not cooperating, so his pics aren’t available to the blog. What you don’t see here is the picture of the Midget Vibrator. That was the least disturbing thing we found in this shop.
|Miss Gay Pennsylvania, does the heart good.|
Hell yeah, New Hope. Sorry we were so lame with the pictures. We’ll be back. If you can control those fucking canal rats.
Next…New poll. Basil vs. Chives. We are in the Final Four People, so vote. I really can’t believe Lavendar won over Mustard. I’m starting to think y’all are trying to fuck with us. That, or you are really just bored with the Herb Smackdown