Monthly Archives: May 2012

Amish Bingo

It’s a game Ted and I invented for whenever we drive out to where the Amish live to buy plants for the garden (like the time I introduced Ted to Intercourse).  The idea is like those old-school car trip Bingo cards, and it was born out of the following discussion:

Ted:  Come see an authentic Amish working farm?  Like a theme park attraction?

Me:  Yep, people make a vacation out of it.

Ted:  Out of what?  It’s all Amish people, farms and outlet malls.

Me:  Exactly.

Ted:  What am I missing?  I mean the view is pretty and all.

Me:  Nothing.  I don’t get it either.  People come out here to watch the Amish people doing their Amish stuff, kind of like going to the zoo.  We should totally make up an Amish Bingo card.  I bet the authentic Amish Farm gift shop would sell them.

Ted:  With ideas like these, how can we not get rich and famous?

And then, we started noting Bingo items.  Amish horse & buggy, Amish horse & buddy rides, Amish horse & plow, horse shit in the road, Amish on a bike, Amish on a scooter, Amish laundry line, Amish Smorgasbord, Amish Souvenir Shop, Amish furniture, Amish hex signs, Amish barn raising, disappointing Amish with electricity, Dutch Wonderland.  You can see how all of this warrants a weekend away right?

The two best were…

Amish Volleyball

Amish Volleyball Tournament*

Seriously.  The Amish love them some volleyball.  Who knew?

And…

Amish Stop Sign

Amish Stop Sign

*Note:  No Amish were harmed in the making of this blog post.  The Volleyball Tournament picture was lifted from the interwebs.  We don’t take pictures of people without their permission.  Or, we don’t take them and put them on our public blog.  We may or may not take them and make fun of them on Facebook.

In unrelated news, it is the youngest spawn’s 13th birthday today.  They really do grow up THAT fast.

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Filed under flowers, garden, gardening, growdammit, Random, Yes, We Went There

Warrior Dash Part 2

As promised, some pics.  None of them depict my inherent Weenieness from the actual Warrior Dash.

Warrior Dash Before

Warrior Dash Before

Warrior Dash After

Warrior Dash After

Warrior Dash Beer

Two Fisting with one tucked into the armpit. That is talent people. That is Jill.

Warrior Dash Shower

Never thought I’d ever get hit with a fire hose…and enjoy it.

Warrior Dash Bday Girl

Wue, the hottest Older Than Dirt Birthday Girl Ever.

Warrior Dash

Scariest obstacle was the van ride there and home.

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Filed under garden, gardening, growdammit, Rufus Dragon, Yes, We Went There

Roasted tomato -basil vinaigrette.

So this is what’s on my mind. Tomato-basil vinaigrette. I’m trying to come up with the weekly specials for work.. Farmer Chele comes with the good ideas… We’ll get together and brainstorm. It’s cool. The tomato vin is gonna be a fuckin’ HIT. Drizzle it over some big ‘ol fat daddy Diver scallops.OH! Then we’ll hit the top of the scallop with some basil pasto that’s mixed in with some panko (For a little crunch). Next we’ll hit ’em with  some butter poached leeks and Wadmalaw sweet onions… throw that on a lobster roll…..Shit. That’ll work.

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Filed under Random

Warriors and a Weenie

If you recall, I recently suspected my friends of trying to kill me.  If you don’t, you can read about it here.

Yesterday, we ran the Warrior Dash.  My plotting friends were foiled because I am indeed still alive.  Take that friends.  I am relatively unscathed other than a bruise on my thigh and one on my ass.  We became Warriors!  Rather, my friends became Warriors, and I am an enormous Weenie.  I’m okay with that because, like I said I’m unscathed.  I skipped most of the obstacles.  By most, I mean all but 2 3/4.  I climbed over a few walls and under a few barbed wire fences.  I went down the ginormous water slide, where I’m pretty sure I got the butt bruise and Hepatitis from the mouthful of muddy water I inhaled at the end.   And I jumped over the low burning end of the wall of fire, pretty much where the logs had stopped burning.  What?  I have a fear of heights, and I’m terrified of falling.  Especially terrified of falling into a pile of burning logs.  I only skipped the obstacle at the end where you climb through a mud pit under barbed wire, because I had wrenched my back a little on the block wall obstacle and was worried I couldn’t physically do it not because I was scared to do it like the other obstacles.  At least I’m a smart Weenie, and know my limitations.  Don’t worry, my friends made sure that I was good and covered by their mud pit mud at the finish line.  One of my friends was so enthusiastically making sure it covered my chest that I had to point out she was feeling me up on camera in front of 25,000 people.  We got marginally clean by joining a mosh pit being sprayed by firehoses, grabbed our free beers, ate a turkey leg and went back to my friend’s farm which I have loving dubbed…

The Shithole

The Shithole

We continued the “Old as Dirt” 50th bday celebrations with fine wine and nosh and two more friends I had never met before.  That is how I ended up sleeping with a woman I just met yesterday.  Wue-Hoo!!

I have to get permission from all parties to put pics of us at the Dash up.  If they all agree, I’ll put them up tomorrow.  If they don’t, just imagine a group of 7 hotties covered in mud from head to toe.  Well, 6 hotties and a Weenie.

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Filed under garden, growdammit, Rufus Dragon, Yes, We Went There

This was supposed to be a post about dumpster diving…

Or, how we are teaching the spawn a lesson in being frugal.

There is a house around the corner that is being renovated after being sold at a sheriff’s auction and the tenants were finally evicted.  Anyway, they had a great wooden three tiered garden bench in the front yard for a long time and I kept meaning to ask if we could have it.  We kind of figured they were going to hang on to it b/c they had placed a rather large boulder on top of it, kind of like they didn’t want anyone to steal it in the middle of the night.  Not that something like that had occurred to us.

Today, we drove by and noticed that they had tossed this beautiful, old bench into the dumpster.  Ted and the spawn promptly took a ladder down there to retrieve it.

Rufus Dragon

The Dragon was concerned that the tall man and the spawn left the property.

Alas,  Ted & spawn came back empty handed.  They had first broken it into bits.  What a waste.  No gardening bench for us.  Or, pics for you.

Instead, we have actual garden pics from the GrowDammit gardens…

GrowDammit Lettuce

GrowDammit Lettuce

Who knew lettuce flowers?

Who knew lettuce flowers?

Raspberries

The raspberries are coming along despite being munch on by Bambi earlier in the Spring.

Strawberries

Strawberries for the Badelves.

Tomatoes & Peppers

Tomatoes & Pepper in the ground w/ tomatillos and okra to come.

Tomatoes

GrowDammit Tomatoes

Peppers

GrowDammit Peppers

Herbs

GrowDammit Herbs w/ a new addition…Thai Cilantro!

Yes, we need to weed.  Yes, we need to finish putting up fence.  Yes, there is more to plant.  We are getting our GrowDammit on!

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Filed under Actually About The Garden, garden, gardening, growdammit, Rufus Dragon, Spawn, Yes, We Went There

Thank you Justin Timberlake. I think.

Farmer Ted always says that Sex Sells.  And, he is right.  I can’t remember what prompted me to check the site stats on our old blog, probably to see if our latest blast from the pasts had people clicking to read the old stuff and the comments.  You are not.  However, people are still finding the old blog and reading from the following search terms…

ThongMom

Happy Birthday!

Not surprising to us is that we are being found by people searching for Moms in thongs.  Because that was the real crux of our post about my ass dress.  Slightly surprising is that people are finding us by searching for Justin Timberlake’s junk as a birthday surprise.  More surprising and unlikely, they were looking for Andy Sandberg’s package.  Our apologies to the to the person who found us innocently searching for a bible quote.

Bare with us people.  We actually have GrowDammit garden stuff to blog, but it is monsoon season outside right now for today.  And, most of tomorrow.

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Filed under garden, gardening, Random, Yes, We Went There