If you recall, I recently suspected my friends of trying to kill me. If you don’t, you can read about it here.
Yesterday, we ran the Warrior Dash. My plotting friends were foiled because I am indeed still alive. Take that friends. I am relatively unscathed other than a bruise on my thigh and one on my ass. We became Warriors! Rather, my friends became Warriors, and I am an enormous Weenie. I’m okay with that because, like I said I’m unscathed. I skipped most of the obstacles. By most, I mean all but 2 3/4. I climbed over a few walls and under a few barbed wire fences. I went down the ginormous water slide, where I’m pretty sure I got the butt bruise and Hepatitis from the mouthful of muddy water I inhaled at the end. And I jumped over the low burning end of the wall of fire, pretty much where the logs had stopped burning. What? I have a fear of heights, and I’m terrified of falling. Especially terrified of falling into a pile of burning logs. I only skipped the obstacle at the end where you climb through a mud pit under barbed wire, because I had wrenched my back a little on the block wall obstacle and was worried I couldn’t physically do it not because I was scared to do it like the other obstacles. At least I’m a smart Weenie, and know my limitations. Don’t worry, my friends made sure that I was good and covered by their mud pit mud at the finish line. One of my friends was so enthusiastically making sure it covered my chest that I had to point out she was feeling me up on camera in front of 25,000 people. We got marginally clean by joining a mosh pit being sprayed by firehoses, grabbed our free beers, ate a turkey leg and went back to my friend’s farm which I have loving dubbed…
We continued the “Old as Dirt” 50th bday celebrations with fine wine and nosh and two more friends I had never met before. That is how I ended up sleeping with a woman I just met yesterday. Wue-Hoo!!
I have to get permission from all parties to put pics of us at the Dash up. If they all agree, I’ll put them up tomorrow. If they don’t, just imagine a group of 7 hotties covered in mud from head to toe. Well, 6 hotties and a Weenie.