Monthly Archives: December 2012

Congratulations…Your parents raised an entitled asshole, and so are you.

You are raising a whole new generation.

Farmer Ted and I went to Longwood Gardens tonight to take a sneak peek at their Christmas Light Spectacular Awesomeness Display.  And, it was both spectacular and awesome.  We did a quick run through, and we will be back on a Monday, when it is less crowded.

We enjoyed some lights, and almost got into a fight.

You read that right.

When you pay your admission and enter the gardens, you agree to a set of terms and conditions that not only determine and promise the  enjoyment of all of the other guests, but also protects the delicate environment that we are being given continued witness.  You should stay on the paths and off of the fauna and flora.

So, when we walked passed a family encouraging their spawn to climb the branches of a lit 100 year old dogwood to take pictures…which is violating two rules…I said out loud “I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to be climbing the trees.”  To which Dad replied, “They’re kids.”  To which I replied, “And, You’re their parent act like one and respect the rules.”  To which Dad replied “Merry Christmas!”  At this point I had to restrain Ted from being brought up assault charges because really Longwood should be better at reinforcing their own rules.

First, I’m pretty sure the spawn were not begging to climb the tree.  Mom wanted a cute picture and encouraged it.

Second, if my spawn wanted to climb trees where they weren’t supposed to a simple NO would do the trick.

We have a wonderful opportunity as the public to enjoy a private property for its beauty. Pierre DuPont bought this piece of land as a visionary in conservationism.  He was only trying to save a stand of ancient trees.  He expanded with a beautiful home, a dairy farm , an amazing conservatory not only to revolutionize horticulture, but to bring it to the public.

Here is what is going to happen.

I can walk through a beautiful stand of dogwoods that are hundreds of years old.  Some asshole lets his kids climb on them, against the rules, to get a picture.  Every other asshole, lets their kids do the same take pics.   Asshole adults do the same because it is fun.  The trees are stressed.   Fences have to be erected to keep people off of the trees.  I might as well as visit a zoo.  For trees.  Because assholes can’t obey the goddamned rules.

Merry Christmas Jerkoff and to the entitled pissants you are raising.



Filed under Actually About The Garden, garden, gardening, growdammit, Random, Spawn

PSA…The man who wants to give you money for liking his lottery ticket is an attention whore.

Apparently, the picture I’ve seen shared all over my Facebook page today promising a cool million to someone who likes it is a fake.

If you didn’t fall for this malarkey but did fall for liking the myriad of radio stations, gas stations and whatever stations who promised a lucky fan some cash for liking, sharing, retweeting or +ing a lottery ticket that might possibly win, then you’ve been had too.


Google’s latest SEO (search engine optimization) algorithm makes social media its A#1 measure of importance for organic search rankings.  So if you have 425,000 Facebook likes and shares, Twitter retweets and Google Pluses, then you rise like a shining star in the ranks.

Very clever way to cheat the algorithm to whomever pulls it off.  Nobody is sharing a lottery red cent with you people.  Nobody.  If it sounds too good to be true, then it is.

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Filed under Random, Yes, We Went There